The Anime Trope System Read online

  "Well, good morning."

  [Your relationship with Harumi has changed from friendly-associate to curious.]

  Clyde gave himself a soft facepalm. He didn’t drink or do anything eventful after going home, except check his stats. How did she get into his place? And if she could easily break in, who or what else can? His apartment was supposed to be some kind of safe zone, right?

  "Harumi, as much as it pleases me to wake up to the face of a beautiful girl, what are you doing in here? You know, two things were about to play out. One, me dying of a heart attack or two, running away, possibly pissing myself."

  She laughed.

  "I came over late last night, hoping to speak with you about power levels and stuff. You were really beat, so you sort of just went to your room, listened to me a little while half-asleep then passed out. It was kind of cute actually." She smirked. Clyde slightly groaned. "I stayed a little while to make sure the use of magic didn’t strain you too bad. Rare skills tend to be the most draining. You also needed healing. But, I kind of fell asleep too." She gave Clyde an apologetic smile. As if on cue, Clyde’s midnight memories did return. He took in Harumi’s half-naked body and felt another part of him rise to the occasion. The pink-haired anime girl noticed the elevated boxers and grinned.

  "Well now, if that isn’t someone happy to see me—" Suddenly, she kissed Clyde. "There’s only one way to take care of a problem like this," she whispered while grabbing his horn. "We’re friends, right? And partners against crime."

  [Your relationship with Harumi has changed from curious to friend].

  Clyde wasn’t going to object to a morning rumble with a cute woman, like some dopey main character from a bad anime. Too bad the time didn’t let him be. The alarm on his phone sounded, loudly and in a way that completely shattered the mood, even for him. The duo both knew they attended a strict academy that didn’t tolerate tardiness. Harumi sighed.

  "And you had such a perverted look in your eyes. Too bad we attend a strict academy." She winked then crawled out of his bed, but not without allowing Clyde to see a full view of her body.

  When the duo stepped past the front gates of the college, they spotted Toru with both of his hands clasps together, seemingly begging something of Chika. The indignation in the silver-haired girl’s eyes revealed that whatever he was hoping for would probably not happen. As if someone poured water onto her blazing anger, Chika’s face lit up when she noticed Clyde.

  "Just leave me alone about it," she barked to the rich boy then surprising pretty much everyone around, did an anime dive into Clyde’s arms.

  "Good morning," she sung. She only spared a tiny glare at Harumi then completely ignored her. The pink-haired anime girl didn’t back down, barging between the two, soliciting a silent duel of jealousy.

  Oh fuck. As if being struck by lightning, Clyde realized the next anime trope that was attacking him. He hated this one the most. The harem. If he got trapped into that, awkward anime falls would be the least of his problems. In the shows, the main character would never, ever, get anything. Well, sometimes he was stupidly dense.

  Not that this was his goal—he had to get home—back to the real world, but for a man stuck in this place for possible years, well, yeah. His privacy would be at risk too.

  It all made since now… Suddenly finding a beautiful woman in his bed. Two girls that didn’t know him well enough fighting over him. They’d try to get close enough to make him indecisive like the dumb-fuck main characters of nearly every harem. His luck would fall. Everything bad would happen to him just to give the girls a chance to make his life even more awkward. And impossible.

  Well fuck that. Clyde was never indecisive. He didn’t plan to let some system force that into him. He also didn’t want a bunch of people showing up at his apartment every goddamn hour of the day, attempting to ruin his private life. He valued his privacy. And how was he supposed to level-grind if he never got any free time?

  "Morning to you too and we’re going to be late for class if we don’t move," he said, removing himself from the nestle of women. He moved in a grace that prevented any chance for the anime fall or grope to occur. He pretended that his hand didn’t stay on Chika’s butt longer than necessary.

  During lunch, he predictably received invites from both women.

  "You’ve got to be shitting me," Clyde said softly. "How did this happen?" His other thoughts were, why wasn’t he this good in real life. He stomped out those thoughts. How dare his mind attempt to make him jealous of his anime self. As if the universe wanted to mock him, a prompt appeared within his mind.

  [Quest: Choose a lunch date. Reward: 20 EXP. Accept?]

  Episode 4: (Part 2)

  Clyde chose no. He could sense the trap with that. The harem trap. He wished this was just an arrogant thought, because the two women were nice. Chika and he laughed and cracked jokes while watching movies. Harumi went out of her way to show him around, showing genuine hospitality. The other side of her that morning…Clyde wanted to see more of that. He decided in the end to just focus on important matters. Like how he had to raise three hundred dollars to waste on a goddamn printer. If it wasn’t a quest, he’d just use the school’s ink.

  He neared the front doors, prep in his step, when a green-haired girl approached him, papers in her hand.

  "Here take one. Courtesy of the newspaper club," she said.

  "No thanks, not interested," Clyde said without missing a beat. He stepped around the girl, flaring her anger. She blocked his path.

  "Well, aren’t you the rude one," she said. "Take it! You’ll find helpful news."

  Clyde gave her a blank glare.

  "Who reads newspapers these days?"

  That hit the girl like a giant knife. She seemed baffled. Her shoulders sagged.

  "Alright, alright, give me the paper," he said, but she pulled away, triumphant smile on her face.

  Clyde analyzed the annoying young woman.

  Naomi

  Level: 8

  Type: journalist.

  Relationship: neutral.

  HP: 100%

  MP: 100%

  Stats: Relationship isn’t high enough.

  Special abilities: see above, doofus.

  Skills: see above numb nuts.

  Magic abilities: see above dunderhead.

  Clyde felt himself flush with a tiny amount of rage but kept it together. He was wasting his time here. Without any further words, he hurried out the door.

  "Hey!"

  He thought he was free of her, but Naomi suddenly chased him, rage in her eyes.

  "Why are you chasing me?" Clyde said, deciding to keep up his run. Then it dawned on him, like the shittiest revolution ever. Except the girl was cute; nothing unusual for an anime girl. "Universe, if you’re ever listening to me, help me out this once." A prompt appeared.

  [Quest: befriend Naomi. This quest is mandatory and cannot be refused. Reward: unknown]

  He stopped, eyes widened a little, baffled at how much of a dick the universe was. The girl gave him a skeptical glare when he turned to her.

  "Are you hungry?"

  "Yes….? Why?"

  "Good. Lunch now. No objections."

  Somehow, Naomi was unable to object. The two stopped at a nearby sushi restaurant and ordered.

  "Ah, students at that academy over there? Don’t worry about today’s bill." The chef grinned. "Since you’re first timers, your order will be billed to them. Here, have some more food. Bet those arrogant bastards don’t advertise this. I’ll show them." He muttered a stream of colorful insults directed at the academy as he walked away.

  Naomi looked thrilled as she tore into her lunch. Clyde actually found it a bit adorable and unsettling. A reflection of real life. Broke college student. Nothing new here. He’d stop referring his own world as "real life" and think of it as earth. This place was simply another dimension, probably created by some god that loved anime.

  "Um," Naomi said.

  "Oh, yeah." Clyde held o
ut a hand. "I’m Clyde."

  The green-haired girl blushed faintly, then accepted his hand.

  "I’m Naomi," she said.

  "Sorry for before," Clyde said. "That was the hunger thinking. Didn’t mean to be a douche back there. So, what do you cover in your newspaper? It looks interesting."

  And just like that, Naomi relaxed, and they had a great conversation. They got to know each other, even cracked jokes. At the end of the hour, the two even exchanged numbers.

  [Your relationship with Naomi has changed from neutral to friend. Good job! Kindness bonus: 150 EXP. $40.]

  [Quest completed. Reward: 150 EXP. $100. Random ability is now being leveled up. Congratulations. Hostile detection has reached level 2!]

  [Congratulations, you have reached level 6! Stats increased! You have learned Precise Slash 1!]

  Clyde was thrilled. Suddenly, making friends sounded like the best idea ever. It…also saddened him a bit too. This type of power is one of the clichés he hated the most. Why…. just why the power of friendship. He wanted to find Mortem and choke his brains out. This game or whatever is was sounded like a huge joke at his expense. He…would end up winning with the power of friendship.

  After crafting class, something interesting happened. Something that he had waited patiently for.

  [Congratulations, you have unlocked Crafting 1. Using your interface, you may use objects and materials to craft items that may be useful to you. The higher the crafting level, the higher your success rate. Your crafting speed increases with level and practice.]

  He needed to put this to use right away, but before he could go, his phone buzzed. He replied to Chika’s text with a witty comment. They were going back and forth on a joke, which started in Sciences class. He knew this only increased relationship with her, but she was impossible to ignore.

  Before heading home, Clyde stopped at the dojo to watch students practice. The instructors were happy to show off, hoping to gain a new customer. Potential money kept everyone happy, Clyde supposed.

  [You have reached basic combat level 2! You sense a new style coming to mind soon.]

  How did Harumi train, Clyde thought. Maybe her friend taught her some forms before leaving. As Clyde neared a clothing store, someone called out to him.

  "Excuse me."

  The voice felt like honey and comfort and happiness when it touched his ears.

  [You have been captivated by Maxed Charisma]

  Clyde’s body involuntarily turned to a smiling girl. And not just any smile. It kind of reminded him of Gin’s smile from an old anime he used to watch, called Bleach. Alarm bells rang in the back of his mind, but the girl felt angelic.

  "Do you have time to listen to a hungry girl chat?"

  "Sure," Clyde said, involuntarily. He tried to analyze her but something strange happened. A notification appeared in his mind’s eye.

  [Your skills have been temporarily disabled].

  Clyde fumed deep inside. Maxed charisma did this? Charisma…. this stat. It didn’t show up on his system menu.

  [You’ve unveiled the hidden stat, charisma. Good luck.]

  The girl who looked like she attended the academy went on and on with a story, throwing Clyde seductive looks, flirting words, and a binding that he couldn’t escape. He could listen to her smooth talk all day long.

  "So if you could help me out, I’d be very grateful. You’ll receive this cloth." She held up a blue silk rag. "It will bring you good luck and fortune."

  "I will give you all of my money," Clyde said involuntarily. "Anything to help your cause."

  Clyde screamed in his head. This was bullshit. He worked so hard to get so close to the three hundred dollars he needed for the damn printer. The girl grinned, as if hearing his inner thoughts. She caressed his chest seductively, tightening the hold.

  "Oh sir, you don’t have to." She smiled innocently.

  "I insist," Clyde involuntarily said, his soul crying. His wallet spouted curses at him as he slowly pulled it out and reach for the cash. This was it. Everything he worked hard for would be gone, just like that. And people with maxed charisma can do this anytime. As he pulled out the cash to hand over to the mouth-watering evil girl, a prompt appeared in his mind’s eye.

  [Heart protection has activated. Heart protection has reached level 2!]

  Control flooded back to him, so much that Clyde wasn’t sure to grin or frown at the girl. So instead, he went with a classic.

  "Sike." He grinned condescendingly at the reddening girl as he shoved his wallet back into his pocket. "You may want start running. And I’m telling everyone about this. So if you show your face—"

  The girl ran away screaming. Clyde saved face by calling after her. "And the next time you try to scam me, tell a more convincing story."

  He shook his head. That was a close one. He checked his newly ranked skill.

  -Heart Protection 2: you’re 28% less affected by unwanted mental magic or skills from enemies. You gain a 13% bonus to your ability to convince others to do anything that would protect their hearts. [Passive]. 5% chance to break from any magic or charismatic hold.

  Only a five percent chance… Pure luck saved his money. He couldn’t take any chances being out here longer—what if another charisma freak came along? Clyde hoped that he wouldn’t see that girl again, but knew he’d be naïve to think anime would spare him.

  "Hey you!"

  Clyde sighed then turned to the angry blue-haired, green-eyed girl staring back at him. His hostile detection flared as he prepared to analyze her. Red aura outline. "You were quite mean to that girl who poured her heart out. Someone who knows about power levels should never abuse it. I’m going to teach you a lesson in the name of truth, love, justice, and friendship."

  The girl suddenly glowed. She shouted, "magi love-love, transformation."

  Clyde’s eyes widened as her school uniform transformed into a blast of pinks, hearts, and flowers. Standing before him was a magical girl, ready to kick his ass.

  Magical girl of love, Kitomi.

  Level: 10

  Type: magical girl.

  Work under: N/A

  Special: Your hostile detection isn’t high enough for this. HAHAHAHA you get to Trial and error this. That sucks.

  Weakness: Your hostile detection isn’t high enough for this. This is going to suck for you. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  Resistances: Your hostile detection is pitiful.

  Secret: Your hostile detection, luck, and will isn’t high enough for this. Noob.

  Episode 4 (Part 3)

  [You have entered combat!]

  "Wait, this is a misunderstanding," Clyde said, but it was too late. The magical girl attacked him.

  [Enemy activates Adorable Wink].

  Clyde’s eyes widened, confused.

  [Your defense has dropped by 25%]

  Clyde felt like an idiot as he rushed in, delivering his foe a Roundhouse Kick. The magical girl dodged, stuck her tongue out, and then countered.

  [Enemy activates Heart Bomb!]

  The giant pink heart of energy flew at him so fast that it was impossible to dodge. The impact, which felt like being tackled, knocked the young man to his back. His lessened defense really showed.

  [Your HP has dropped to 75%]

  That…was a lot of damage. Only a few more hits and he’d be a dead man. This girl…she was trying to kill him and no one around paid any attention. Could they even see this fight? Clyde shook his head, deciding to just focus on the task at hand. Another enemy, even if in the form of a magical girl. He needed more abilities.

  He dashed toward the girl, dodged her punch with forms he learned from the dojo, then used Precise Slash as he unsheathed his sword.

  [Enemy HP has dropped to 80% Critical hit!]

  But only to eighty? Oh…she was level ten. Four levels made a difference.

  [Enemy is stunned! ATTACK ONCE MORE!]

  Clyde quickly complied, activating a good gift for the unreasonable magical girl.

  [Ac
tivated Energy ball. Close range modifier activated!]

  The ball of spirit energy smashed the girl thirty yards away. She didn’t get up.

  [CRITICAL! Enemy HP has dropped to 40% Oooh, that’s gotta hurt. Enemy has lost the will to fight.]

  "Shit," Clyde said then rushed over to her. The girl’s transformation deactivated as he knelt at her side. "Look, this entire thing was a big misunderstanding. That girl is a scammer with ridiculous charisma. I scared her off, but…" he paused, seeing tears on the Sailor Moon wannabe’s face.

  "I can’t believe I lost to a level six noob," she whined. Clyde gave a glare that silenced the girl. He briefly considered finishing her off for the EXP but held off on the account of not being a murderer. "I’m sorry, that was uncalled for." She winced as she sat up. "That attack…where did you learn it?"

  "Read it in a book," Clyde somehow said with a straight face. The girl blinked.

  "You…found a magic book…with that luck stat. Hmm, something’s off about you." She tilted her head. "There’s no way your level should be below eight. And to wield magic. You know about being gifted, but not enough. You can fight, but…this level of knowledge. Who are you?"

  "You’re quite rude," Clyde said, not actually caring. He just felt like messing with her. "I’m the mysterious guy." He got up and started for home.

  "Hey, wait," The girl leapt up then blocked his path.

  "Women are standing in front of me in this manner too often," Clyde said.

  "Don’t be a sexist. Who are you? I’m Kitomi."